An Anti-Suicide Manifesto

Lucidity after thoughts of suicide

Hello, my friend,
This letter is important to me. I hope I can talk about this - suicide. It seems to me, a point wherein the philosophy and the body touch. This is, in my life, a real problem that does not obey any abstractions that I tend to assign to it and what I think are solutions. I could not connect, then, to the person who claims that he has never been suicidal. I wonder and envy, then, what must it be like to not have that drop of poison dissolved in one’s mind. It seems to me that it is not a solvable problem, one might not be rid of the problem for years on end till what is hopefully a natural death. I think, however, I should take up my own individual case, a case that is personal and hence I can talk with authority on its effects and symptoms. I have tried a lot; I haven’t tried everything.

The more I have known this state of mind, one very simple thing is clear — that I must not spend more time dwelling with this part of me. Of course, the implication can veer into the insinuation that I must ignore or repress. Not quite. I urge you, my friend, to take some time with what I say here since it might appear quite presumptive, repressive, foolish, narrow and uninformed. If such a charge is to be levied against me, I think that one must first examine what I say for what it could be as I see it, not what it appears to you. With that said, I want to introduce you to, what I hope is only a version of many to come, an Anti-Suicide Manifesto.

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The Anti Suicide Manifesto

For those who have nearly escaped the pit

The manifesto is for you if you have decided, once and for all, that you will not die by your own hand. The instinct of suicide is there, and it has to only be limited to that scope - that of thought. There are no plans, and there has to be no drift towards the thought. Instead, the purpose is to realize and found within yourself, that which is an ineffable act, the opposite of suicide, which, for the purposes of this manifesto, will be called anti-suicide.

Does the Anti-Suicide exist?

The existence of death implies life. The existence of the act of suicide might, at the very least, imply the existence of an instinct that is unexplored by the person which results in an act or a series of acts that can be called the opposite of suicide. The hypothesis of this manifesto is that the instinct of the suicide which is apparent and aware to the person supposes a more base instinct for an experience that is whole and perfect within itself.

Suicide, Alcohol and The Moment

Indeed, in my own mind, suicide is a perfect silence and a perfect blackness, as contrasted against the chaotic, dizzying and uncontrollable sounds and colours of my own life. Albert Camus calls it a "nostalgia for unity". This unity, that what I see as a spiritual haven that is complete within itself and requires no past and no present. When I drink to elude reality, I crave and chase that experience that can stand on its own, and has a finality to it. The buzz, it seems, will not do since I want what the buzz could be if it was greater. So I see that suicide as I wanted it was the draw of that perfect unity and the thought of suicide, referencing alcohol, is a spirit that would drown me - taking me away from the reality that is there, and towards suicide.

The Manifesto

Since that instinct for unity is so great within you, you are now tasked with fulfilling your own instincts.

Within the tension of that unerring and uncontrollable dizzying array of lights, sounds and smells of life, a foot has to be placed back on earth.

To fulfil that promise of wholeness that, earlier, guided you to suicide or addiction, that promise will now have to be fulfilled with the payment of your Story.

A suicide cuts short the Story. An addiction obfuscates the Story.

At every small victory that is attained over reality by you - you shall document it for the world, and you shall mark your path.

The oft-overlooked scope of reality is your own person.

Your body is the vehicle. It follows that the quality of the vehicle will determine the ease of the path.

If you are lucky enough to have a killer (yes pun intended) sense of humour, use it gratuitously.

An inventory of your strengths and weaknesses has to be made.

Always leverage the strengths where possible.

Do not be proud to avoid or work around your weaknesses.

If working around a weakness is not possible, then, should the will be put to a test.

Do not be proud to fail. Do not seek failure.

You will always let a failure hit you.

You will be careful to not let failure take a hold of you.

After the failure hits, it is time for reason to take hold and carefully analyze for the root. To the best of your abilities, you shall aim for a perfect resolution of the nature of your failure.

It is possible to commit no errors and still lose. That is not a weakness. That is life. (credit to Jean-Luc Picard)

If it has to be said aloud, say it aloud when the thought of suicide hits - "I still have to live my Story"

Having tasted the lull of suicide, one can, with enough awareness, track the web of thoughts that lead to the thought.

Whenever you are in control of your body-mind, you shall consciously say to yourself, "I will avoid this indulgence" and avoid that web.

You will not be too proud to ask for help from people you know that help.

When the threat of suicide is far enough, you will write a manifesto for your Anti Suicide

If and when you touch upon the Anti Suicide, you will document it.

If and when you touch upon the Anti Suicide, you will commit to it.

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My eyes strayed far and wide before I shut them and said “Here art thou!”

The question and the cry “Oh, where?” melt into tears of a thousand streams and deluge the world with the flood of assurance “I am!”

12 - Gitanjali, Rabindranath Tagore

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Aniruddh Ravipati

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